More kisses for Paw-Paw

You know, I started this blog with two people in mind. My Grandma (my mama's mama) and my Paw-Paw (my daddy's daddy). They both enjoyed the Internet and a blog seemed like the perfect way to share Tyler with them since I didn't talk to them via phone very often.

Don't get me wrong. I'm thrilled that my parents, my sister, aunts, uncles, cousins, a few friends, and probably some people I don't know read about my precious son and his antics. I love when readers leave a comment (thank you, Jodi!) or tell me they enjoyed a certain story (thank you, Grandma!).

But every time I've considered blogging in the last two weeks, I've felt this huge sense of loss. You see, my Paw-Paw died on November 21. And I feel like I've lost half of my audience. He never left a comment. I don't even think he realized he could, but it took him so long to type that he probably wouldn't have bothered anyway. But I know he was reading about his little buddy.

Even as we deal with our grief, my precious little boy is showing me so much about losing our Paw-Paw. Every time we get in the car, he says, "Nanny. Paw-Paw." (Because we visited so often while Paw-Paw was sick, Tyler began to associate car rides with going to their house.) Then he tells me, "Paw-Paw heaven." And he blows kisses toward the sky.

And sometimes I cry. And sometimes I smile. But I always encourage him to keep kissing Paw-Paw. And I hope Paw-Paw can see all these kisses.

As for me, I'll keep writing. For you guys. And for me. I love looking back through old entries, realizing how much Tyler has changed or laughing at something I would've forgotten if I hadn't blogged about it for Grandma and Paw-Paw.

And I'll keep loving my Paw-Paw and knowing how proud he would be if he could see his little buddy.